I Saw Him

My mind remained blind to his advances but my heart welcomed him unconditionally. My mind knows that he is not meant for me but my heart is too stubborn to accept the reality. Such a conflict is not new to the female species. Even the Amazonians amongst us fall susceptible to unconditional love. Beautiful and simultaneously serpentine is this love. It both strengthens and weakens when inconvenient.

Is it wrong of me to say I don’t care about his other self? That's rhetorical. I don't really care about having permission to feel or act out my feelings. Sometimes it really doesn't matter that he has already created a life with another person. When he's with me, it's like that other self doesn't exist. We create whatever reality we want and then willingly release ourselves from that reality when it's time for him to depart. Indulging my mind or my heart depends on the day and what I want to do.

Living a life full of doing what I want and not what I have to do, or what is expected of me to do, is the life that I am creating. Does this mean that sometimes I will be met with disapproval? Yes, and I look forward to it. I'm not here to please anyone. I would exhaust myself awaiting acceptance. Is there really any one person on this earth who is that worthy to tell you it's ok to be who you are, to do what you're doing? If you say yes, perhaps you've given that person way too much power of your being. I'm not the one. You did not create me so I cannot let you define me. This is the point in my life where I will be defined as a bitch. Yet I do not bark my requests I simply let it be known. If this is wrong, I encourage more of you to be wrong with me.


Blog Challenge: Ask yourself what you want! Don't allow this question to be blocked or confused by what you think is possible. Ask yourself what you truly want. Give yourself permission to be okay with not having your whole life mapped out. You can even just answer what you want today. Once you figure this out, ask yourself are you being the person you need to be in order for you to have the life that you want or even the day that you want. If the answer is yes, congratulations. If the answer is no, then be honest with yourself and figure out what you need to eliminate or incorporate to have the life that you want. And as always, feel free to share on this site your sentiments!